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But often our dignity grows into shortcomings, and at some point Cheap Rudy Gay Shirt , caring for another becomes the gravedigger of our freedom.


One of the most effective levers of depriving a person of the feeling of freedom is to make him responsible for the feelings of the other.


"You can not offend Mom! If you do that, I will be offended, "our mother says to her child, and if he accepts this rule, he loses the ability to behave as he wishes.


He will now take care that mom does not take offense.


The child is unable to cope with the experiences that will flood him, when one of the parents demonstratively offended.


Suppressing his protest Cheap Pau Gasol Shirt , his will, he will do everything in order to avoid pain from rejection, fear of punishment, loneliness ...


As soon as the moods and desires of other people become regulators of our needs, feelings and actions, we lose the opportunity to really take care of others Cheap LaMarcus Aldridge Shirt , because such our care is an attempt to avoid a meeting with the intolerant.


Chains of someone else's moods wrap around the chest, squeezing it and often generating a quiet hatred for those who do not seem to limit you, but whose emotional state for some reason proved insanely important.


The reaction of other people is important, and if a person is not a sociopath, he takes them into account.


Indeed, I do not want to upset my family by denying them something that is important to them Cheap David Robinson Shirt , but it is very problematic for you.


I do not want to do something that, as we know, will not bring joy to those who matter to us, which will be perceived "with hostility."


"Because of you, I feel bad now! You have to think not only about yourself! "- a good chain of guilt.


It can be gilded: "When you behave this way and so, I feel fine!".


It is quite long Cheap Tim Duncan Shirt , you do not feel it very much until there is a conflict between the mood of the other and your own plans.


Then the chain stretches, and a shout is heard: "Where has gone! It will be bad for me if you leave! "


The chain can be removed if it is assumed that "it will be bad" - not from what you did, but from the fact that he chose this type of reaction.


Free, not forced, caring about the feelings of others is expressed in the fact that we openly and openly talk about the causes and motives of our actions, clearly explain them without holding a stone in the bosom.


If a person does not want to listen to our really important needs Cheap Kawhi Leonard Shirt , ignores them and continues to insist that we owe him this and that, he does not really care about our feelings, he needs our obedience. It gives a sense of security.


There are no other ways to build one's own security, because he knows only one way - to rely on another.


And to learn to rely on yourself or look for other sources of security does not work - there is no such experience in the past. And as long as there are those who are ready to substitute their shoulder, it will not be possible to get it in the present.


However, these chains are not necessarily worn by someone else.


Often we ourselves entangle ourselves Cheap Joffrey Lauvergne Jersey , and others do not suspect that consent in response to a request - not out of a desire to help, but out of fear of offending.


"I just did not want to offend you" - uninvolved concern about my feelings for me, as a rule, does not please me at all ... If other people's feelings are important to me, then I'm not at all attracted to the fact that someone brings their important needs or plans in favor of mine.


The ability to accept someone else's rejection is no less important test for the maturity of emotions than the ability to refuse.


Respect for the other is also expressed through the justification of why we can not now satisfy the need of others expressed in the request, and by accepting a refusal to satisfy our need without trying to "press" or punish in one way or another.


Sadness is a natural reaction to the impossibility of anything. If we are able to accept it Cheap Manu Ginobili Jersey , then the relationship with the one who denies us something is preserved.


If not - then sadness turns into anger, rejecting any possibility of continuing the relationship. If your partner lives far than you should Read Long Distance Relationship Guide.