Is It Okay to Spoil Your Kids? Family Articles | October 27 cheap nike air max 1 , 2003 The ... article is offered for free use in your ezine, print ... or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is ... ... of ... would be appr
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.
Title: Is It Okay to Spoil Your Kids? Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding Copyright: ? 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http:www.innerbonding Word Count: 711 Category: Parenting
None of us want ?spoiled? kids - kids who are bratty, self-centered, demanding, inconsiderate. So, what spoils children and what doesn?t?
When I was raising my children, I was often told that I would spoil them if I didn?t let them cry - if I held them a lot. Fortunately cheap nike air max 90 womens , I didn?t believe this nonsense.
You can?t spoil a child with love. Children need love as much as they need food and water. The problem is in defining ?love.?
We are not giving love to our children when we give them everything they want on the material level. Parents often think they are loving their children when they pile them up with all the toys or activities they desire, but what is the actual result of indulging our children in this way?
There are three big negative consequence of ?spoiling? our children on the material level:
1) It fosters addictive behavior - filling up from the outside with things and activities rather than filling up from the inside through caring and creativity. Too many adults are addicted to spending or other activities to fill up their emptiness. If they are stressed, instead of dealing with the source of their stress - which is generally some way they are not taking care of themselves - they cover their feelings with some addictive behavior such as spending, TV, food, alcohol cheap nike air max 90 mens , and so on. When we offer our children too many toys, too many activities, too much comfort food, or allow too much TV, we are not loving them. We are training them to be addicted.
2) Often parents provide things and activities for their children while denying their own needs. It?s not loving to children to give in to their every demand, especially if it means putting yourself aside. When you constantly give in to your children and deny your own needs cheap nike air max 90 premium , children learn that it?s okay to disregard others needs and be demanding brats. Children may not learn to consider others if you do not expect them to consider you by considering yourself. They will learn to treat you the way you treat yourself, so it is not loving to your children to disregard yourself. When you disrespect yourself, you teach your children to be disrespectful.
3) One of the big issues in our society is that children learn to identify their self-worth with others? approval for how they look, how many toys they have, how expensive their clothes are. Unless parents show their children that they value them for their inner qualities - their caring, creativity cheap nike air max 90 ez , compassion, laughter, joy, passion for life - rather than for their looks, possessions and performance, children learn to attach their self-worth to other?s approval. True self-worth comes from inside cheap nike air vapormax , from knowing we are valuable for who we are, not for
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